Monday, February 28, 2005
In case you cared
I'm sore today. With all the rain here yesterday there was no chance of rollarblading so I decided to go jogging instead. Well apparently these two activities do not work the same muscle groups because I'm incredible sore today. My thighs are killing me. In fact they're so sore I drove to work today instead of rollarblading. What can I say - I'm a wuss.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Ups and downs of a sports fan
Well the T-Wolves lost again last night. Nothing new this year I guess. I really thought the T-Wolves were going to challenge for the championship this year. I even got excited about their two game winning streak before the all-star break. Then they go and lose two. I'm left asking myself "Why the hell do you let sports bother you so much?" I've told myself many times that I'm not going to get upset anymore. Now with the Vikings sale to a half-ass business guy that has no money it's obvious they're not going to go after any game changers this year. It's just going to be a down year for the Minnesota sports scene. Oh I forgot baseball. Well lets just be honest, we might win our division to get beaten out in the playoffs by the Yankees again.
But hey on the bright side: We ended the Packers season and we got to see the best Touchdown celebration ever!!!!!!!!!!!!
But hey on the bright side: We ended the Packers season and we got to see the best Touchdown celebration ever!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 24, 2005
The O.C. - The Wifie's Favorite Show
Being forced to watch the OC isn't so bad since I dragged my wife away from her family in MN. I'm going to have to pay for that for a long time. But that's OK I'm in Florida basking in the sun for seven more months. (Can you believe I've been down here for two months now?) Anyway, tonight I saw the most ridicules scene ever from the show. Cowen this character who is crazy into comics has this Spiderman mask climbs on the roof, with his Spiderman mask on, to fix the satellite because the TV isn't working. Throw in some pouring rain and you got the makings of a slip right. But Cowen is smart enough to tie himself to the chimney so when he falls he left hanging by one foot. While he's hanging his ex-girlfriend of whom he wants back really bad is coming to make up. She runs in the house yelling for him. Soon she finds him and we have the makings of the kiss scene from Spiderman one. I could not believe what I saw, just a total rip off of the movie. In a comedy this wouldn't be so bad, but in a friggen drama, come on. I'm left speechless. I may have to pull rank when this show comes on next Thursday.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
2nd Worst Trade Ever!!!!!!!!!!!
Talk about a bunch of crap!!!!!!!! The reported trade between the Vikings and Oakland is one of the dumbest trades ever. How could you trade the best receiver in the game for a worthless number one draft pick and another worthless player? Pathetic, there's nothing else to say. You'd figure after being involved in the worst trade ever (remember Hershel?) they would have learned something. But no they continue to show that they are the stupidest organization ever!!!!!!
Traffic Rant
I used to think the traffic in Minnesota sucked. When comparing it to here the traffic in MN is great. I'll take it any day. They don't believe in Freeways down here. Ok they have a couple that go across the state but that's it. Where ever you go around here there's a stop light in no more then two blocks away on any major Highway. It makes a 5 minute trip turn into 10-15 minutes. Apparently this area has expanded so fast that it caught the legislatures of guard. They didn't have time to get the proper infrastructure put in place before all the land was bought up and developed. Now its tear down buildings to expand roads or install more stop lights so traffic from the side streets can get on the main roads. Try telling a business like Home Depot to move from there prime location so they can put in a better road. It doesn’t happen.
On the bright side, it’s 75 degrees pretty much everyday in the winter and the roads aren’t quite as bad as the driving on the Jug Handles in Jersey.
On the bright side, it’s 75 degrees pretty much everyday in the winter and the roads aren’t quite as bad as the driving on the Jug Handles in Jersey.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Burnout 3 - The latest X-Box addiction
Generally when I play the X-Box I'll pick one game and stick to it for a while. The crew back in Eagan seems to get bored pretty easy and they'll play many games over a span of a week or so. In fact I can't even keep up with all the games they play, they're constantly talking about a different games.
Recently the game I've got addicted to is Burnout 3. Basically the objective of the game is to crash your opponents or drive crazy to gain boost. Without boost you're opponents will get so far ahead of you that you'll never win. And in this game no lead is safe. You're opponents will always catch you so you better be good at crashing them before they get to big of a lead while at the same time avoiding the traffic. The game has a series of modes other then racing so the game mixes things up as you're going through the series of events.
I think this game ranks up there with Project Gothem 2 (PG2). PG2 is by far a more realistic game play and I love the car selection but it can get boring and you have to be good at racing because the game isn't that forgiving when you make mistakes behind the wheel. Burnout 3 is simpler to play so it fits me better. I don't have a lot of patients to brake around turns, I like to just hit the gas and go so PG2 is tough. So if you're ever bored and you own a PlayStation 2 or X-Box try Burnout 3.
Recently the game I've got addicted to is Burnout 3. Basically the objective of the game is to crash your opponents or drive crazy to gain boost. Without boost you're opponents will get so far ahead of you that you'll never win. And in this game no lead is safe. You're opponents will always catch you so you better be good at crashing them before they get to big of a lead while at the same time avoiding the traffic. The game has a series of modes other then racing so the game mixes things up as you're going through the series of events.
I think this game ranks up there with Project Gothem 2 (PG2). PG2 is by far a more realistic game play and I love the car selection but it can get boring and you have to be good at racing because the game isn't that forgiving when you make mistakes behind the wheel. Burnout 3 is simpler to play so it fits me better. I don't have a lot of patients to brake around turns, I like to just hit the gas and go so PG2 is tough. So if you're ever bored and you own a PlayStation 2 or X-Box try Burnout 3.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Weekend Recap - FL State Fair
Friday we went to Hitch with some co-workers. Nothing to exciting. The movie was good, but I had a hard time staying awake.
Saturday Jen and I went to the State Fair. We spent the day comparing it to the Minnesota State Fair. They both have plenty of food which is all I care about. FL doesn't have as many booths or agriculture crap. But in all it was a good time. I'd do it again.
Sunday I rollerbladed for a couple hours along the causeway to Honeymoon Island. On the way back to my truck one of my wheels disintegrated. So I figure I'm either to fat to be rollerblading or I've put a ton of miles on them so it's time to replace the wheels. I spent the rest of the day watching bowling and NASCAR. Fun stuff.
Saturday Jen and I went to the State Fair. We spent the day comparing it to the Minnesota State Fair. They both have plenty of food which is all I care about. FL doesn't have as many booths or agriculture crap. But in all it was a good time. I'd do it again.
Sunday I rollerbladed for a couple hours along the causeway to Honeymoon Island. On the way back to my truck one of my wheels disintegrated. So I figure I'm either to fat to be rollerblading or I've put a ton of miles on them so it's time to replace the wheels. I spent the rest of the day watching bowling and NASCAR. Fun stuff.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Husband Mart
Husband-Mart
A new store named Husband-Mart opened. Husband-Mart is a store where women can go and choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of six floors and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flight of stairs. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down, except to exit the building.
So, this woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.
On the first floor, the sign on the door reads:
"Floor 1 - These men have jobs."
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, well, that is better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what is further up?"
So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads:
"Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids."
The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?"
And up she goes.
The third floor sign reads:
"Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love Kids and are extremely good looking."
"Hmm, better," she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"
Up she goes.
The fourth floor sign reads:
"Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework."
"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. But, there must be more further up!"
And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads:
"Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be waiting for me on the sixth floor?"
So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads:
"Floor 6 - You are visitor 1,260,459,789,016 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Husband-Mart and have a nice day!"
A new store named Husband-Mart opened. Husband-Mart is a store where women can go and choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of six floors and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flight of stairs. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down, except to exit the building.
So, this woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.
On the first floor, the sign on the door reads:
"Floor 1 - These men have jobs."
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, well, that is better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what is further up?"
So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads:
"Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids."
The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?"
And up she goes.
The third floor sign reads:
"Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love Kids and are extremely good looking."
"Hmm, better," she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"
Up she goes.
The fourth floor sign reads:
"Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework."
"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. But, there must be more further up!"
And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads:
"Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be waiting for me on the sixth floor?"
So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads:
"Floor 6 - You are visitor 1,260,459,789,016 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Husband-Mart and have a nice day!"
New Blogger
Ryle-isms would like to welcome Green-O to the blog circuit. If you're into Poker, Remodeling, or if you want to hear how a new dads life it going check it out.
Do you complain about your wife? Read This
Another guest blogger today. This one ranks up there with some of the Jennie-O stories. It sounds a little unbelievable but you never know.
T-Jones writes -
Yesterday a co-worker, Mike, insisted on telling me this story of how his buddy has it so bad off. His wife is constantly degrading him and everything he does, he can never do enough, or do anything right to please her.
The story goes..... they had a broken casement window in the upstairs bedroom, because money was tight, they couldn't afford to fix it. Instead he sealed it shut and decided it wouldn't be opened again, until they could replace it. One warm spring day the wife decides it's too nice to keep the bedroom windows shut, so she opens the broken casement window, and it falls off the track. The only way to shut it is to from the outside. So the unfortunate husband comes home in the evening and is ordered to get out the ladder and seal the window shut, because it was getting too cold outside. The husband does as he is told and goes to work on the 2nd story window. In order to get at the window, the ladder was set on the rock bed next to the back door, causing it to be wobbly. The wife comes storming out of the house to tell him he's taking too long, and it's getting cold inside, in doing so she accidentally slams the door into the ladder, causing the already unstable ladder and husband to come crashing down onto the concrete sidewalk and rock bed. The end result, two broken arms, a severe concussion and fractured ribs.
As the Mike is going on about how unfair this is, he's poor buddy is all beat up and it's his wife's fault. She is the one who opened the broken window, she is the one who made him get on the ladder and fix it, she is the one who knocked the ladder over with the door. She should be the one with the broken arms, and concussion and fractured ribs......
In a moment of inspiration it came to me...
"Mike, this is Karmic Retribution!!!"
"What do you mean?"
"Think about it........for the next 6 weeks, she's the one who has to wipe his ass!"
T-Jones writes -
Yesterday a co-worker, Mike, insisted on telling me this story of how his buddy has it so bad off. His wife is constantly degrading him and everything he does, he can never do enough, or do anything right to please her.
The story goes..... they had a broken casement window in the upstairs bedroom, because money was tight, they couldn't afford to fix it. Instead he sealed it shut and decided it wouldn't be opened again, until they could replace it. One warm spring day the wife decides it's too nice to keep the bedroom windows shut, so she opens the broken casement window, and it falls off the track. The only way to shut it is to from the outside. So the unfortunate husband comes home in the evening and is ordered to get out the ladder and seal the window shut, because it was getting too cold outside. The husband does as he is told and goes to work on the 2nd story window. In order to get at the window, the ladder was set on the rock bed next to the back door, causing it to be wobbly. The wife comes storming out of the house to tell him he's taking too long, and it's getting cold inside, in doing so she accidentally slams the door into the ladder, causing the already unstable ladder and husband to come crashing down onto the concrete sidewalk and rock bed. The end result, two broken arms, a severe concussion and fractured ribs.
As the Mike is going on about how unfair this is, he's poor buddy is all beat up and it's his wife's fault. She is the one who opened the broken window, she is the one who made him get on the ladder and fix it, she is the one who knocked the ladder over with the door. She should be the one with the broken arms, and concussion and fractured ribs......
In a moment of inspiration it came to me...
"Mike, this is Karmic Retribution!!!"
"What do you mean?"
"Think about it........for the next 6 weeks, she's the one who has to wipe his ass!"
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Questions for an engineer
Ryle-isms first guest blogger Green-O poses some explanations to some commonly asked questions to an engineer:
When someone asks you HOW you're going to do something, it means they don't think it can be done.
When someone asks you WHY you're doing something, it means you're doing it wrong.
When someone asks you WHO is going to do something, it means they don't think you can do it.
When someone asks you WHAT you are doing, it means you're doing it the wrong way.
When someone asks you WHEN you are going to do it, it means you're already behind schedule.
When no one says anything, it means you're doing it right.
When someone asks you HOW you're going to do something, it means they don't think it can be done.
When someone asks you WHY you're doing something, it means you're doing it wrong.
When someone asks you WHO is going to do something, it means they don't think you can do it.
When someone asks you WHAT you are doing, it means you're doing it the wrong way.
When someone asks you WHEN you are going to do it, it means you're already behind schedule.
When no one says anything, it means you're doing it right.
Think Outside of the Box
You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?
Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 ap! plicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. I love this, I may actually use it sometime for an interview situation.
WHAT DID HE SAY?
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."
Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?
Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 ap! plicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. I love this, I may actually use it sometime for an interview situation.
WHAT DID HE SAY?
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."
Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."
Cube World
My cube at work isn't next to the windows but I could easily glance over and see out. The weather down here has been great so looking out the window at the sunny blue skies is uplifting. Well they just started constructing cubes along the windows thus blocking my view to the outside. Now it's back to the cube world I've grown accustom to since I started at Lockheed.
Green Iguana
Good times last night. The OLDPers (Jen, Pardeep, and Joel) here invited me to a happy hour at Green Iguana's. It's a cool club on the beach of some bay. There so many bays around I have not clue which is which. The plan was to got out and grab an appetizer and be home by 8:00. Jen had a show that she didn't want to miss. Well 3 shots, two of Tequila and a couple beers for Jen and we didn't make it home until 11:30ish (Oh yeah, she drank me under the table). It sure didn’t make for an easy time getting up the next morning for work. It kind of felt like I was in college again. I’ll post a pic of the adventure later.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
The Element of Surprise
After receiving a few emails about my blog entry on Valentines Day I thought I'd clear the air about what I meant. When I buy gifts I want to get something unique and something my wife would never expect. Valentines Day is just another day when you're supposed to buy flowers of some kind, maybe a teddy bear and if you really want to go all out you buy expensive jewelry. I'm also the type of person who doesn't like to buy gifts when they're expected. After dating and being married for as long as I have you tend to run out of ideas. So my point was, if I don't buy a gift for a couple of years at any occasion, she'll be surprised when I spring one on her. Thus the element of surprise is back, I'll save a ton of money over the couple of years, and she'd be happy to get anything, even if it were a pet rock.
This is just an attempt to explain my laziness and inability to think of something to get her that is not boring.
This is just an attempt to explain my laziness and inability to think of something to get her that is not boring.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Valentines Day
I think there should be a rule that after marriage there should be no more buying gifts on Valentines Day. Guys get married so they don't have to do these things anymore. We just want to be lazy and play games. Ok maybe I don't speak for all guys, so it's just me that wanted to be lazy and play games. Ok the truth is, after being together for so long, what in the world can I get that will be a nice surprise. My wife has all the precious moments one could ask for. (oh and so do I - thanks Jen I appreciate them)
So my plan for the next couple of years is not to buy any presents for any occasion. After she's getting used to it I'll spring a present on her. If she hasn't divorced me because I haven't bought here any presents, she'll be surprised to get one, right?
So my plan for the next couple of years is not to buy any presents for any occasion. After she's getting used to it I'll spring a present on her. If she hasn't divorced me because I haven't bought here any presents, she'll be surprised to get one, right?
Monday, February 14, 2005
Lockheed new hires
Ever wonder what recruiters here at Lockheed look for in future employees? Check out this biography on one of our new hires.
We were in a meeting and for fun we Googled for our names. While doing a search for Joel this link, along with about 40 others came up. I was scrolling through them and Joel said "Don't look at that one". Well what says "Check this link out" better? So from here on out, Joel and his plethora of solutions to design problems will forever be the model employee for Lockheed.
T-Wolves
I turned on the computer on Sunday to check on the T-Wolves and holy crap, Flip was fired! I would have never thought they'd fire him. So in my shock I had to call someone, the first person that came to mind was Matt. He's a huge Minnesota sports fan and he's always got the inside story. Then I called my sister. I mean, this is big news.
In all my fumbling and calling I finally came to and looked over at Jen. She was giving me the "Oh my God" look. Ok so she had just asked if I would throw the sheets in the wash and I blew it off after I heard the news. I guess wives just don't understand the importance of sports.
In all my fumbling and calling I finally came to and looked over at Jen. She was giving me the "Oh my God" look. Ok so she had just asked if I would throw the sheets in the wash and I blew it off after I heard the news. I guess wives just don't understand the importance of sports.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Blog Entry Numero Uno
Well I've been in living in Florida for a month and a half now and it's great. But eating lunch at my cube everyday leaves a void where I can vent my crazy life adventures and worthless thoughts.
So why not start a blog, then I can pretend people are reading and caring.
So why not start a blog, then I can pretend people are reading and caring.
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